Tire fire in the river, why not?

The other night we arrived home at about 10pm to a strange glow coming from the back regions of our house. We rushed out back and lo and behold, our neighbors had ever-so-considerately lit a bunch of tires on fire in the river directly behind our house!



They explained to us that they had started this giant noxious rubber fire surrounding a giant boulder because it was diverting the water. The next day they hacked at it with a sledgehammer for hours, breaking it into little bits. They also told our landlord that we should give them some pop because they were doing us a favor. You know, of course, my first reaction when someone starts a giant fire feet away from my house in the middle of the night, fills my bedroom with toxic fumes and then makes tons of noise hitting a rock with a hammer during my weekend, my first reaction is definitely gratitude and not at all calling the police, were there police to be called in this town.